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2.30 am..im wide awake.it's been 13 days since i last blog.i told myself dat i will only update after i finish wat im supposed to study, but i suddenly have e urge to pen down my thoughts for now.Will update when im really free.Wat am i busy wif?Study?no..till now, i've only finished 3 chapters of 1 module..dis is real bad.Im nt panicking.Coz no matter how i fret abt my studies, i just dun have e motivation. n i slept at 4am everyday..Since Sunday, i've been stoning at hm infront of my tv, wif notes in my hand n eyes on e tv.I kept tinking of sum thing all day long..y do i nv ever have e luck in love..y does everything revolve ard dis word!I hate it!!!!!I really do!....pple have been asking:" how r you and him?"...i can only say "Nothing".coz theres practically nothing between us n maybe worse than nothing..fullstop.i am surprised at how stupid i am for letting my hopes fly highi guess it was all along a wishful tinking in my part.ha!.i was over confident, i fell hard..i shldn't have taken things for granted..i can only blame myself.but...i really miss................................................................................................................................................hais..

"Trying to forget someone you love is like trying to remember someone you've never met"

i wun want to forget you..i will nv..i cant..i just pray for a miracle...dat things to be sweet n not sour..i really **** ***arrrrggh..c..i've becum sucha coward!!my fingers cant even type out e words..hais..I jus saw sumthing which pained me...n i burst into tears, my heart beat very fast, my body trembled frm head to toe..i feel real unwell now..my fingers feel weak.im crying, not for myself now..but for...i guess, i've really fall in deep.

"If there was never a broken heart we wouldn't know the miracle of love's healing power"

i will try to heal myself one day!..but can i really succeed when e potion is e one hu makes me despondent..nvm..i iwll learn to be e healer of my own wound,jus like before..i've accepted e truth dat im destined to be e failure in the "4 letter words"..but no matter wat..i can only say..i've finally got my feelings right, i **** sumone, though it really hurts alot alot..n i guess dat i will nv gonna be in his priority list.i dun mind.i really dun mind suffering, coz i noe dat it's impossible to control e matter of heart.i just wanna salvage e situation...bring me back to life, change me, change my life,God.sometimes, crying really help alot =)

i jus pray for God to giv me e strength n ability to study now..sob