is it time to go ?

im always..

others before self

others before self

others before self

others before self

others before self

others before self...

...

till im so drained now.

...

never am i one of the "others"

..

for all i know; i've been giving & caring.

giving & caring

giving & caring

giving & caring

giving & caring
giving & caring

..

i nd some concern too.

some reciprocation.

i dun ask 4 appreciation.

..

Sounds emo. but not to worry; i am stronger in fact. Trials & tribulations had changed my thinkings & stuff. Yes i cry alot..coz i've a very soft heart..& a very sensitive spirit. I know; im always joking, laughing, acting silly bla bla. & pple thought of me as vulnerable & r always worrying about me & protecting me. I know all these; though most of the time i doubted all e love, i didnt believe that people will actually care for me coz noone ever show. Now i understand; sometimes love doesnt nd to be shown coz i'm like this sometimes too. BUT..actions speak louder than words. God reminded me to be bold. & so; yes i will be bold from now onwards. & not be afraid to show care & concern. It's only RIGHT to love; isnt it. Note: im not talking abt BGR.

I truly know what's in me; what God has placed in me; how much capacity i have. So ya..for all those who have always been worrying about me; i'm happy to say that i've GROWN; im nt a small girl anymore. (: SO DONT WORRY ANYMORE. Trust in me; that i can do great works.

IN THIS SEASON. I MUST & I HAVE TO STAY STRONG.

: the evil overwhelms when the good do nothing.

SIDE TRACK.

playing:

SOMETIMES by: Britney Spears

playing:

PRETTY BOY by: M2M

OLD SCHOOL? But weirdly..im hearing this song everywhere i go. Somehow.. they rekindle memories. Tugging @ e chords of my heart.

..

playing:

SUPERWOMAN by: Cao Ge

playing:

HAO PENG YOU by: Show

they bring tears. & i dunno why.

..

living in EXCRUCIATING PAIN last two days. MY TOOTH ACHED so much. So much so i couldnt concentrate on my work & had to go to the toilet to CRY many times & swallowing 5 panadols in one hour.. Now you know, how painful it is. Really THANK GOD it didnt hurt any bit today.

..

Applied for SIM- bridging course for ECONS & MATH; starting in APRIL. @ e same time i'll be waiting for NTU's results. Well..i really dunno if im making e right choice. Gonna see how things go. Can a 2.8 go NTU? Well..if only they'll read e essay then i'll maybe have a lil bit of chance.

..

Working makes one lonely; especially office work.

..

A few days back; i have been very FICKLE-MINDED. Now, NO. I've set my heart on what i want. Thank You Daddy God. BS really taught me alot of things.

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Sharing burden lessen my burden. I'm learning to share.

..

John11:39-40

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I need to be there. & i will always be there.

..

& lastly..to a friend of mine:

if you've been wanting to talk to me; feel free. i'm all ears. i'd prefer to know what exactly are you thinking than hearing you telling other people how are you feeling; when especially in things concerning me. i know you will have alot to say. i know how unhappy u are with me; or maybe even hated me to the core. for all i know; in this thing...i'm e one who knows the less; who asked the less; who heard the less. all i hope for...is a reconciliation of friendship. but it takes two hands to clap..if by any chance you're reading this; i just want you to know...i've never ever say that i wanna give up this friendship. i seriously dont know how things can turn out this way. i've got nothing to talk to you; coz like i said i know nothing much about how you're feeling so i dunno what to say; even the other few you've been talking to know much much more than me. it's not like i'm wanting to avoid you. brother.. you can stop your negative thinkings.. we all sincerely wanna help you..you can see how the rest have been spending time to talk to you; if they dun care; they wun even bother. if there's any misunderstandings ; which i know there are ALOT, just come straight to me & let me know. This has to come to a stop one day. I will not go to you; coz i wanna hear from you only when you are ready; & only when you've think it through & only when you've found out what exactly is e problem thats bothering you. I've said my piece. Ive been silent all this while. & nw it's time to break the silence.

Sincerely;

Ruby.

..